Wait. I can't do that. I can't help you with something that I struggle with. It just wouldn't be right...wouldn't it? Maybe I'm just writing this for myself, and you're getting to listen in on my internal conversation today.
Maybe you'll find you know my pain. Maybe you'll wonder why you even allow this pain to take hold in your life.
And maybe we can find a solution to this together. Let's try this little experiment.
Instructions: read the following entries in first person - as though YOU were writing it down for the first time. If you do not connect to the things being said, skip it and move on.
1. I feel small.
An Experiment In Unity Through Insecurity
I don't really think ANYONE knows me here. But I'm too tired to try to get noticed. I just want people to care.
2. I Blew It.
I thought I could make myself a better person in the eyes of others. I blew it.
3. I'm Trapped.
I'm terrified. I'm anxious. But worst of all, I already feel trapped.
4. I'm Losing Them.
My time with them will eventually come to an end. Perhaps it never really was my fault. However - all the while - I'm losing them.
So, if you've ever felt the same way, let this be my chance to tell you: I know exactly how you feel. I criticize myself daily. I fight insecurity and cover it up with overconfidence and short-sighted humor.
But I've also got something that I think may save both of us.
Do you feel that? Your body is working. Maybe not perfectly, but you're alive. Let's start with that.
You are worth more than the grade on your last paper
Or the degree on your transcript.
Choose to spend time with the friends who truly love you
Not the ones you think are above you.
People who seek to hurt you don't deserve your friendship
They deserve your forgiveness and grace.
You are loved not because you are successful, rich, or beautiful
But because you were created by Love itself.
Only in times when the door remains shut
Do we venture to open another.
Death is best beaten, and Life truly lived
When we don't ask "What's next?" but instead "What can I give?"
If you're still looking, I can make you a recommendation. :)
Note: With this post, I am excited to step back into writing for Baylor students and the college population at large. If you want me to continue this theme and discuss other insecurities, let me know. Feel free to comment with ideas that you would like me to write about.
I hope this brings you encouragement and prepares you for some of the best years of your life. Whether you are a student at Baylor or anywhere else, I would encourage you to share this poem with them to give them some fire as they begin their journeys.
I am excited for all of you. Sic 'em.